Signs that your Child is Ready for Potty Training

The idea that Potty Training should commence after observing ‘signs of readiness’ is a concept that was derived in the 1960’s. It was thought to be a child centred approach, as it would help parents determine when their child was ‘ready’ to make the transition from nappies to underwear. 

This worked for a number of children. A child centred approach is thought to be best practice, as it considers the individual needs, skills and ability of the child, and allows a tailored approach to toilet training, in a timeframe which works for them. 

However, there were two main limitations to the ‘signs of readiness’ approach. The first is that some children never display the behaviours thought to be associated with ‘readiness’ despite being physically, emotionally and socially ready to make this transition. As a result, parents have delayed the toilet training process unnecessarily. Over the last few years there has been an increasing number of children who are still not toilet trained by the time they are starting school. Whilst there are many reasons for this, delaying the start of toilet training is unlikely to be beneficial for this process.

The second limitation to the ‘signs of readiness’ approach is that it suggests that the parents' role in preparing the child for toilet training is passive. It implies that they simply have to ‘wait’ for their child to show signs of readiness. Whilst it may sound ‘child centred’ to wait to observe the child’s behaviours and cues, what is actually ‘child centred’ is a parent who is able to help, support and guide their child to meet their own individual potential. Children are deeply influenced by their relationships, particularly with their primary caregiver (usually their parents), which play a crucial role in their development, attachment style, skill set, and sense of self. What the ‘signs of readiness’ approach fails to acknowledge is the importance of the child’s environment in the development of the required skill set for toilet training.

 In order to remain child centred, parents can shape their child’s environment and their engagement with their children to help to ‘develop the skills needed to potty train’ rather than ‘wait for the signs that they have already developed this skillset.’ In all areas of child development, children need help and support from adults to develop their skill set (often known as scaffolding). For example, a parent does not wait to observe signs that their child is ready to walk. Instead, they observe where they are at and support them to develop this further, albeit in the child’s own timeframe. This might include standing behind them as they pull themselves up on the sofa, holding both their hands as they start a walking motion or stand a short distance away with open arms as the child considers taking the first step. Parents can take a similar active role in supporting their child to become ready for toilet training.

So, what Potty Training Advice can we offer to parents who are wondering how to support children become toilet training ready? Instead of considering ‘what are the signs that a child is ready for potty training’ let us instead look as some of the skills which are required for toilet training, and rephrase these as ‘how as adults can we support children to develop the skills required for toilet training?’ Here are these Potty-Training Tips….

Being able to recognise that one has wet, is a key skill required for toilet training. However modern disposable nappies are very absorbent, so children might not feel when they are wet as the liquid is absorbed so quickly. In the final weeks before potty training, parents may wish to add a folded piece of kitchen roll and place it inside the nappy. When the child urinates, they will feel the wet kitchen roll close to their skin, whilst still having the full security of the nappy. This may help them to learn when they have wet and later associate the pressure they feel just before this as they need to go. 

Your child hiding to poo is something which is often listed under ‘signs of readiness’. Whilst it may show consciousness and control in releasing poo, it may also be an indicator that the child feels shame around poo. If your child is hiding to poo, this is nothing to panic about as it is a common behaviour with around two thirds of children demonstrating this. However, to ensure a smooth toilet training journey, it can be helpful to teach them that poo is not shameful or something to be embarrassed about. We can do this by talking openly about poo, never using negative terminology such as ‘stinky’ to denote poo and reading books about poo. Some children also respond well to being shown their poo. 

This is not often listed as a ‘sign of readiness’, but as a Potty-Training Consultant, this is the most important area of readiness for little ones. Rather than just observing and supporting their skills and behaviours, we also have to support their bodies to become prepared for toilet training. One of the biggest obstacles to potty training is constipation. If a child poo’s and it is sore, then they often try to avoid going by holding. This can make the toileting process a little trickier. Therefore, it is advantageous to make sure that the child is not constipated nor has a UTI before starting toilet training. A balanced diet rich in fibre, water and exercise and low on processed foods can assist with this. If you suspect your child may be constipated speak to your GP for support before toilet training.

In this blog, we considered how parents can take an active role in ‘preparing’ their child for toilet training, rather than passively waiting for signs of readiness, which not all children may show. This approach aims to prevent parents from unnecessarily delaying the start of the toilet training process. This is particularly relevant given the increasing age at which children reach this milestone and growing number of children who are not yet toilet trained by school age. However, it is important to recognise that the challenges of toileting at school age are complex and this is just one factor to consider. By creating a supportive environment and actively guiding their child through this developmental stage, parents can help make the transition to independent toileting a smoother and more positive experience.